This is the final blog post of The Littlest Fusco as my time in Sedona has given me new insight and clear direction for my life. I have consulted with my new found team of spiritual advisors, shamen, healers, and a couple of lesbians that seem to know a lot about crystals. Their consensus is that I sell the Audi (sorry Lance), my ipod, my Mac, and liquidate the rest of my holdings so that I can acquire the appropriate teachings (and respective crystals and vortex visits) to find inner peace and the spiritual energy to face the world and the many other dimensions in which our energy exists.
My attempt at living a secular life with all the comforts that Toronto could provide was, from what they tell me, a horribly mistaken path. My education and good Catholic upbringing, according to them, didn't prepare me for how the universe really works. I have also given them power of attorney as they made it seem like a reasonable request. I'm off for my robe fitting and some meditation, so I'll see you all on the next level.
Farewell,
Matthew
But, but, but...now what are we all supposed to do? We were all living vicariously through you and now, dear leader, you have abandoned your flock! Everything was going so well until those mystic desert lesbians got a hold of you! Now we will never know what the Double Down tastes like! Let me bring you back - the secular world that they have pitted you against was what produced that divine pork sandwich that you would crawl over open glass for. Think about the pork. Do it for the pork. Come back to the pork.
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